Letter to a weirdo

To Zack or similar,

Just thought I should let you know that I’m not going to call you. And here’s why:

1. As I understand it, you want to have a drink with a few of us so that you can practise your English. No offence, but I did kind of come to this country to practise my French. And since the snooty French girls in the few classes I had didn’t seem to want to talk to me, I’m not feeling inclined to help your country out (no, it isn’t racist, it’s just angry).

2. It was pretty clear you didn’t understand our non-american accents anyway, which is something I gathered from the fact that you asked us the same questions over and over again after we’d already answered them.

3. (Most importantly), as a La Source inhabitant I associate you with the other local guys. This means I assume you are the kind of person who calls me and my friends “fat potatoes” and yells things like “You speak English? You want to suck my dick?”

4. I know you said you’re not like those other guys, but the fact that you are a stranger who randomly approached us in the supermarket and asked for our numbers doesn’t really help your case.

Not sure if you’re aware, but there’s a language centre in the law building where you can join conversation groups led by an English speaker who has actually volunteered to speak English with you, rather than some random you harassed while they were trying to buy a can of orangina. I suggest you check it out.

Love from Hannah