I can't unitask

This is how I get assignments done...

Tab 1 – Gmail: 14 new messages. I’ve read them already. Reply later.
Tab 2 – Facebook: No new notifications in the past 3 minutes.
Tab 3 – Googlebooks: Language and the Internet by David Crystal. Can’t say it’s one of my favourite books but need to read it for an assignment. He’s talking about netizens (citizens of the Internet). I wonder if netizen has a wikipedia article.
Tab 4 – Wikipedia: netizen. Oh my god it does. Am I a netizen? I suppose I do have 6 email addresses, facebook, msn, a blog. Not sure if I “have a self-imposed responsibility to make certain that [the Internet] is improved in its development while encouraging free speech and open access”. Wow I like the word portmanteau. Why don’t I use it more often? Click. Why is it taking so long?
Tab 1 – No more new messages than before.
Tab 2 – Who’s online? No one worth talking to. 330am in Sydney. Click. Taking too long. I need to use all that spinach before it goes bad. What can I cook?
Tab 5 – Google: Spinach recipes. Click. Calf’s brains with spinach. Really? Surely if I’d wanted to cook that I would’ve typed calf brain recipes. Although I may have a spare calf brain lying around in the fridge. What do I have in the fridge?
Tab 6 – Google: fridge. Hannah. Think about this a second. Close tab.
Tab 5 – Spinach soup? Yeah maybe. Could work. What was I doing before?
Tab 4 – Oh yeah portmanteau.
Tab 1 – No more new messages. I wonder how many times I’ve used the word portmanteau in gchat. Zero. I’m not surprised.
Tab 4 – “The usage of the word "portmanteau" in this sense first appeared in Lewis Carroll's book Through the Looking-Glass (1871), in which Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the coinage of the unusual words in Jabberwocky”. Oh wow. This is the best day of my life. Oh my god.
Tab 2: New message. CLARE I finally got the Humpty Dumpty thing!! Biggest coincidence ever. So I was reading about portmanteaux in Wikipedia (words that are made of two other words (like netizen) and apparently in Jabberwocky Humpty Dumpty makes some words up like that and then explains to Alice that it’s a portmanteau and shiz! SO apparently Mark Aronoff wasn’t completely off his head!
Tab 4: Porte-manteau means coat-hanger?? I thought coat-hanger in french was some other word. Hm.
Tab 6: Babel Fish: Coathanger, English to French. Manteau-cintre. Yeah cintre. That’s what I though. What was I doing before?
Tab 4: Ha. Bennifer is a portemanteau. I love linguistics. Linguistics! That’s right I was reading a book.
Tab 3 – I swear I know more about the Internet than this guy. He keeps talking about chat groups and virtual worlds. What the hell. What about chat? Just chat. Who uses chat groups? And virtual worlds?? Not since the Habbo Hotel of year 8 my friend.
Tab 1 – Still no one online. Bah. I wonder if the word multitask has an opposite. Do you think at a job interview you could tell them (if they asked what your weaknesses were) that you couldn’t (insert opposite of multitask here)?
Tab 6 – Google: multitask antonym. Urban dictionary? I think not. Let’s try… Wictionary: taking too long to load. I reckon the opposite of multi- is uni- so I’ll start saying unitask and see if it catches on. Yeah.
Tab 2 – Ooh someone has put photos online. These are boring. I wonder if anyone has commented on my blog.
Tab 7 – Nope. Maybe I’ll write a new post.